Seeking Therapy for Porn Addiction (Problematic Pornography Use): What You Need to Know
Feeling overwhelmed or distressed by your pornography use can be incredibly isolating. Many people are impacted by problematic or out-of-control pornography use, and often search for answers online.
Acknowledging these feelings is a courageous first step, and you are not alone. This blog will help you understand what problematic pornography use is, signs it may be affecting your life, and how counselling can support recovery.
Understanding Porn Addiction (Problematic Pornography Use)
“Porn addiction” is a term many people use when describing their struggles. In therapy, we often refer to this as problematic pornography use (PPU), although there is no single consensus on terminology.
The caution against the word “addiction” is that it can feel pathologising or stigmatising. Regardless of language, what matters most is the impact on your life. Problematic pornography use describes when porn use feels out of control, leads to significant distress, and negatively affects daily functioning.
Signs Your Pornography Use May Be Problematic
Interferes with daily life and relationships: impacting your partner, family, friendships, work, or studies.
Loss of control or compulsivity: feeling only porn can bring you happiness or relief, needing more or more extreme content, and struggling to stop despite wanting to.
Emotional distress: using porn to avoid painful feelings such as boredom, anger, or loneliness — followed by shame, anxiety, or depression.
Impact on health: poor focus, disrupted sleep, erectile difficulties, or risky sexual behaviour. Research also suggests problematic porn use affects brain regions similar to other behavioural addictions.
Secrecy and isolation: withdrawing or hiding use, which often increases loneliness.
Why It Can Be Hard to Reach Out
Because pornography is often surrounded by secrecy and stigma, many people experience shame when struggling with it. Shame is the belief that something is wrong, dirty, or broken at the core of who you are.
Shame not only adds to the pain but often fuels the very cycle you want to stop.
I want to emphasise: you are not broken, dirty, or alone. Many people seek help for problematic pornography use. Reaching out is the first step in breaking free from shame and moving toward healing.
Treatment and Support Options for Pornography Use
There are many paths to support, and you can choose what feels right for you.
Individual Counselling
Therapy for pornography addiction is important as PPU often requires intensive support to overcome. Counselling for porn use provides the space for deep exploration of the function of the behaviour in your life, factors feeding into the porn addiction, emotional regulation, self-identity work, and skill building tailored to your needs.
Couples Counselling or Relationship Therapy
This addresses the impact of the addiction on your intimate relationship, healing wounds of betrayal, and building a new, stronger relationship together.
12-Step Fellowships
Groups like Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) or Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) offer peer support and structured recovery. They may be faith-based, so may not suit everyone.
An evidence-based program that focuses on practical tools, often used for substance and behavioural addictions, including problematic porn use.
Porn Addiction: Steps You Can Take Right Now
You don’t have to wait until therapy begins to take action. Some small, gentle steps include:
Reflect on who you are: Your strengths, interests, goals, and values. What is truly important to you in your life? What is a first step to living more aligned with your values? Strengthening your sense of self is essential in combatting the shame often accompanied and fuelling PPU.
Identify patterns: Keep a diary if possible and track when you use pornography. What happened directly beforehand, what were you thinking or feeling? What happened as you used pornography, and what happened for you directly after?
Small, achievable steps: Consider reducing rather than quitting as a first step. Can you cut down on your use using a timer, or make changes to your environment such as where your laptop or computer is placed? Can you use app block software on your phone as an additional barrier?
Explore emotional regulation techniques: Avoidance of your emotions is not the answer, and likely drives problematic behaviour. Learn to accept your emotions, and process them with strategies such as breath training, visualisation, and mindfulness.
Build a support network: Shame’s instinct is to withdraw, hide, isolate, lie. Identify trusted family, friends, or groups that you can journey with.
Engage with me in therapy: I’d be honoured to provide you the space to process in a supportive and caring environment.
Pornography Counselling: How Therapy Can Help
I offer online pornography counselling in Australia. You are welcome to find out more about my sex therapy services or book a session.
Counselling is a safe, confidential, and non-judgemental space where you can talk freely about your relationship with pornography. Therapy for pornography processes underlying factors driving behaviour such as trauma, low self-esteem, underlying emotions or core beliefs.
Together we will identify your current strengths and tools, and expand your overall coping “tool box”. Through the counselling process it is my hope that you will grow in self-acceptance, confidence, and the experience of a fulfilling life. A fulfilling life also encompasses a sense of a freer and more meaningful sense of your own sexuality, as defined by and aligned with your values.
Taking the First Step
It’s never too late to seek support. If you’re struggling, I urge you to seek support whether it be with me, a different therapist, friends, family, or a support group.
You and your wellbeing are worth it.
Written by Justine.
References:
Carnes PJ. Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction. 3rd ed. Center City, MN: Hazelden Publishing; 2001.
Birchard T. CBT for Compulsive Sexual Behaviour: A Guide for Professionals. London: Routledge; 2015.
Hall P. Understanding and Treating Sex Addiction. London: Routledge; 2013.
Neves S. Compulsive Sexual Behaviours: A Psycho-Sexual Treatment Guide for Clinicians. Abingdon, Oxon; New York, NY: Routledge; 2021.
Sutrisno W, Saputra M. Understanding Online Pornography Addiction. Entertainment Computing. 2025;54:100956
